Dear Scales,

We have not had the best relationship over the years, as I tried to lose weight before the surgery, you’d show that I had gained. It was very frustrating. I know that the scales is an inanimate object, but to me, it was the source of much angst and annoyance over the years.

But since surgery in the first week of February this year, our relationship has begun to improve. As the surgery, so far has allowed me to lose over 3 stone in weight. I am only allowed to weigh myself once a week and I do it first thing on a Wednesday morning. There have been times since my surgery that the scales have shown that I have either stayed the same or gained a pound. It annoys me as I now eat so little compared to pre surgery. I have not cheated on my new diet once and I am proud of that. But I know that for me to continue to be successful, I needed to change the feelings I had towards the scales.

Changing this relationship is not always easy, but in the weeks since my surgery it has gotten easier. And I know that to have a healthy lifestyle is better than being held hostage to a number on a scale. There are times though the scale and I will fall out but now it is a mere instrument to show progress.



Dear Friends #2

I am so grateful for having all of you in my life.

Over the weekend I have been meeting friends who I have known since secondary school and we have remained in contact as we went off to university or work after we finished our exams. It was so good to meet yesterday. One of my friends had her wedding reception, after getting married earlier in the year in another country. It was a lot of fun and I got to catch up with so many people. Although I am completely exhausted today. I’ve also had a really good friend from school stay with me as she lives in Europe. It has been amazing to catch up and talk about all sorts of things and have a laugh.

Late this morning, some of us are going to try and meet for a coffee. I don’t know what time exactly or where we are meeting but I hope that we do get to meet up again.

Later on this afternoon, my friend who is staying with me is going to be flying back to Europe. My mum and I are giving her a lift to the airport. I will miss her, it has been so much fun. It’s times like this that help me remember that when I am in my darkest days that I am not alone and I have a bunch of awesome people in my life, and I am truly grateful for that.



Life Update #2

It’s been a while since I have written on here, so I thought I would do a life update as a couple of things have gone on over the past few weeks.

The first thing is that my mental health took a hit at the start of the month. I was stressed out at other things going on in my life and it made my mental health tank. I tried to get into the community crisis centre but as it was a bank holiday, they were booked up. By the middle of the next week I was feeling better. I just toughened it out over the weekend. I still have a lot on my plate, but after a couple of busy weeks, things are looking up for my mental health. And I can be proud of the fact that, even though I had temptations, I did not over eat or eat because of my emotions. Which is something I would have done before surgery.

The second major thing that has happened, only happened yesterday. In the morning I was fine, but by the afternoon after I had gone and picked up some medication it felt like the middle of my back had gone into a spasm. Only it wasn’t just my back. It was around the side of my ribs and my front. I ended up ringing the doctor surgery and got an appointment with the duty doctor. She called me back within the hour and after talking she wanted me to come down for a face to face appointment. When I got to her office, she examined my back and where all the tenderness was around my front and ribs. She concluded that it was not a back spasm. It was linked to my weight loss surgery. she recommended I upped the medication for acid reflux to twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening.

After which, I went home and immediately took the medication, as by this time it was evening. The pain had made me so tired that I crashed out asleep for a few hours. When I woke all the pain had gone and so far, it has remained gone. So, I can assume that the doctor’s theory was correct. I am going to continue to take the medication as advised.

So, those are two major life updates from me. I will try and write more blogs on here more regularly.

Dear Yoga,

I started to get into yoga before my surgery in February. A good friend of mine and my counsellor convinced me that it would be beneficial for me on many levels. So, I got a yoga mat and tried it. My friend recommended a YouTube channel to follow that helped those who are bigger. After my first session, which was only fifteen minutes I felt like I was floating on air. So I continued to do it over the weeks leading up to my weight loss surgery.

However, after my surgery I got out of the habit. At first I was in too much pain and I had one of the incisions from the surgery not healing properly. I was also under instructions not to exercise for 3 weeks post surgery. This got me out of the habit of doing yoga once or twice a week. And as the weeks dragged on the idea of going back to it faded further from my mind.

This was until this weekend. Where I have been unwell and yesterday my mental health dropped a bit. Not enough for me to have a crisis, but enough for me to notice. I knew I needed to unwind and allow myself to relax. The thought of the amount of work I have to do this week was getting to me. So, this morning, I picked up the bag containing my yoga mat and convinced myself to try and get back into it. I found the YouTube channel and did a gentle 25 minute session. And you know what, I am really glad I did. I feel much more calm and relaxed. That floating feeling came back and I didn’t realise how much I needed the session.

I am definitely going to get back into doing some yoga at least once a week and build it up to more. I have notice though, that, I have some tension built up and stiffness in my neck so I many need to have a session of fascial manipulation to sort that out. But otherwise, it was a very positive experience.



Dietician Appointment

Today, I had an appointment with the dietician. I was meant to go to the hospital and see her in clinic. However, I have the worst cold I’ve had in a while (tested for Covid, it was negative). So, I rang the clinic in the morning and they allowed the appointment to be held over the phone. She rang at my appointment time and I have to say, the appointment went really well.

We discussed a range of things, from the food I am now eating to my other health conditions and how they are being managed. For the past week I have had to keep a good diary, so I had that with me to refer to. She was impressed that I am making sure that I have three meals a day and a snack, even on the weeks when I am really busy. We then talked about the range of vitamins that I am now having to take. Earlier this week, I had my first B12 injection, which needs to be repeated every 3 months. It was a really good appointment and I am still on track and have not cheated once on my new lifestyle.

We are going to meet in clinic in 3 months time. I also have been with friends over the past two weekends and I have been overwhelmed by the support that they have given me. I feel so humbled.

So, I just thought that I would give a little update and let you know how I am getting on.

Dear Easter Eggs,

I cannot have you any more, you contain too much sugar and too much fat. Years ago I would have laughed in your face if you told me that I would give chocolate. But that has come back to bite me in the backside. This weekend was my first Easter where I have not had a single piece of chocolate and strangely, I am okay with it. I got my parents an egg each and it being in the house is fine by me, there is just no temptation for me because of the surgery.

The good thing though, about not having Easter eggs is that I got book vouchers. If you know me you’ll know that I am a massive bookworm. So, yesterday I took myself off into the city centre and went on a spending spree with the vouchers and came back with five books and it easily could have been more.

Above in the instagram page, there is a reel of all the books I bought.

Weight wise things are still going well, I have another check up on the 27th of this month, this time with the dietician. I am confident that it is going to go well, as I am still being very careful with what and the amount I eat. I of course will update after the appointment.



Dear Solid Food

It is so good that, starting today, I can have you back in my life. Got the past four weeks I have been eating soft food only and I am looking forward to having something that has a crunch to it. I am really looking to have proper meals with my mum again with us eating together, rather than at separate times. It will be nice to eat together again, and it will help me with eating more slowly, as that is something that I am still struggling with. I am particularly looking forward to having a non takeaway chicken curry and a roast on Sunday as it will be Easter Day.

It being Easter Day, I am not able to have an Easter egg now and I am surprisingly okay with that. I did go to the supermarket yesterday and it is still tempting to get things that I shouldn’t, but I resisted as I just know that it is not worth it. One thing that I was disappointed in was that I cannot have not cross buns, they are too high in sugar. Consuming too much sugar will cause dumping syndrome, which is as disgusting as it sounds and is not something that I want to experience.

But overall, I am in a good place and I am still losing weight. I am nearly 5 stone down from my heaviest weight in October of 2021. And over a stone and a half post surgery.

Hope you all have a good Easter.

Update #1

Sorry for the lack blog posts lately, the last week and a half has kicked my arse. But thankfully, I am at the end of it, where I can now pick myself up and dust myself down.

My weight loss is going well still, the check up I had at the bariatric clinic said that I may plateau with my weight loss, thankfully that has not happened yet and I am nearly at a loss of 5 stone from my heaviest in October 2021. I am aware that the bariatric clinic go from the pre op assessment or the start of the milk diet, but I cannot be bothered to convert stones to kilogram.

Even though the past week and a half have been really tough, I have not eaten anything that I shouldn’t. Now before you say that’s really good, I have though, started vaping as a way to deal with the stress. I was vaping vapes with nicotine in them but now I am down to zero nicotine. The next step is to knock them on the head completely, but I want to do that when I am fully in a better place.

I have some good things coming up that I am very much looking forward to. It will be a good way to keep me on the straight and narrow. I will be seeing a lot of friends during the next month. We will be revelling to friends in Oxford and that will present challenges with food. But I am already thinking ahead and planning how to deal with these challenges. I know that my friends will be cool but it will be the service station stops along the way that will be more of an issue.

Overall though I am now back to feeling good and I am thankful that you’ve be patient with the lack of blog posts.


Post surgery check up

Today, I had a post surgery check up with the specialist nurse. Things it turns out are going really well. I have lost, since my pre surgery assessment in the middle of December, 18kg. It is above the average for this amount of time. So, I am really pleased. However, the nurse did warn me that I may plateau in the next few weeks. But after a few weeks I will start to lose again. We also went over the foods that I am eating and the vitamins I am taking and I am taking all that I need to take and eating the right foods. There are a few things that I can improve on and that is my aim between now and my next appointment which is in just over a month with the dietician.

So overall, I am really pleased with my progress and I and others are seeing changes. For example, my clothes are starting to get really baggy on me. And as much as I like having loose clothes, it’s starting to get a little silly. I am really pleased that I had the surgery.

Anyway, that is my little update, it’s not in the form of a letter, but new letters will be written soon.

Take care.

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